I remember getting birthday favors at parties when I was a kid, but I had no idea wedding favors existed! I don’t think I’ve seen anything besides the little bottles of bubble solution…not that I’ve been invited to tons of weddings, but still, I think that’s all I’ve seen. And of course I don’t remember a single birthday party favor that I either gave or received!

It turns out there are some really unique wedding favors out there. A lot of them are items for use in the kitchen or around the home, and some of them are just decorative. I especially like the heart-shaped measuring spoons because they are so cute! I think I’ve seen a very similar product in catalogs but I’ve never seen them for only $3.15! (That’s the price for just one - if you order more, as you would for a wedding reception, you pay less per unit.) I also like the design of the heart-topped bottle stopper but I’m not sure I’d want to receive it as a wedding guest…because I’m not sure what I’d do with it, except maybe regifting it with a bottle of wine. They also have really cute bride and groom cookies, and I’m impressed that you have to order each one separately, which means you can order two brides or two grooms if you want to. And aren’t these the cutest little candle holders you’ve ever seen?!

It’s funny, but I have mixed feelings about weddings. Part of me doesn’t like going, because I feel like it’s being shoved in my face that I can’t get married. Part of me does like going, because it’s nice to be liked enough to get invited, and it’s nice to see your friends who are in love, and so forth. I would definitely have a fancy wedding with a pretty gown and everything if I could! We probably won’t ever have that, though we might have a catered party for our 10th anniversary in 2008 - we’ll see. Or maybe we’ll just run off to Paris for our 10th anniversary!

Somebody asked the other day about “civil union rings” on the GLBT board I moderate. I directed her to gay-owned Jewelry by Ponce and gay-themed Love and Pride, but those are sources for specific types of jewelry. Gay people don’t have to get gay jewelry, of course - you can get any kind of gold and diamond jewelry…rings don’t know what gender you are!

An interesting point about gay couples getting jewelry, though - they might end up with different color metals. For example, my wife prefers yellow gold and I prefer white gold, so that’s what our rings are! You can see them here.

Today we are going to the wedding of one of :MK:’s friends from high school. She’s a very nice girl and I’m happy she’s getting married, but I can’t shake that deep-down bitterness from seeing straight people getting married. Every time I hear about someone my age getting married, they haven’t been together as long as I’ve been with A. And yet, to some extent, I agree with A - having a ceremony feels like it would be somewhat false without any legal backing. We were talking earlier today about wills, and how I have to be explicitly written into her will. We’re lucky that none of our parents would raise a fuss about that, but we still don’t have the automatic transfer of property that straight people do. Weddings just remind me of the inequality I’m living with every day. I am glad for the chance to dress up a little, and I don’t mind going to Richmond, and whatever they’re serving at the reception will be nice…but I’m still just a bit resentful.

I’m participating in a thread on Literotica about marriage. A couple of people said that they are only planning to have quick weddings, because they want to be married, not get married.

I have a different take on the matter. I want to get married. I’m not looking for a big church wedding or weird expensive dresses, but I’d like to have some kind of event with a pretty outfit (worth maybe about $200) that I picked out for the occasion. I want to send out invitations to my friends and circle a date in red on the calendar. The “be married not get married” thing doesn’t fly with me. We’ve been together for seven years now and we’re essentially married (witness the rings), but I’m not satisfied. It doesn’t even have to be a real wedding - we could just have a party and send out invitations and have people dress up and rent a private room at a restaurant somewhere. But I want something. Part of the reason we’re waiting is because of A’s previous experience. She was married for ten years, and she’s still very close to her ex-husband but she knows that relationships can go sour even after a very long time. So I’m basically showing that I can last longer than ten years before we get to have that party.

The reason this makes me so frustrated is because I have so many friends who are getting married and having kids. My sister-in-law got married in summer 2003, a good friend of mine got married in fall 2003, my brother-in-law’s mother got married somewhere in there, and now my sister-in-law is going to be in the wedding of another friend with whom I’m also acquainted. Plus I know a slew of people online who are getting married, having commitment ceremonies, etc. And I’ve been with A longer than any of these people have been with their partners, so every time I see somebody make an announcement part of me sneers inside my head that they’re moving too fast. I’m just jealous, of course, but I’m a bit self-righteous about it too.

Yes, we’re already married. Yes, we wear the rings. But dammit, I want that party. And don’t even get me started on all the babies everybody has been having…