The prognosis is not good for Wubie. When A got to work she called to speak to the doctor and it seems the outlook is not so rosy. So A was calling to ask about that choice we didn’t want to make. Do we put her through the cardiology exam, or just let her go quietly now? I decided that if there was any chance she might get to come home with us again, I would hate to have put her down. She is first on the cardiologist’s schedule now. Hopefully we will find out soon. If her heart disease is severe we will both leave work to be there as she is put to sleep. If it isn’t too severe, they will try her on heart drugs and see how she responds over 24 hours. But it’s not good. I am finding myself looking at pet loss websites. For now I think I am numb until we hear something further.

Added: Okay, no more looking at pet loss websites. I was reading the rainbow bridge story and now I’m in tears.

The doctor called at 1:45am, right as I was falling asleep after posting my video blog entry. She said that Wu’s breathing had “declined,” and that she seemed to be dehydrated. Of additional concern was her low blood pressure. It was 65, and normal is apparently 100-120 like a human’s. The doctor explained that she was torn between giving her fluids to improve her b.p. and hydration, and not giving them because they would cause further heart problems. The doctor didn’t think she seemed to have an overly large heart, but the cat obviously hadn’t seen the cardiologist. Additionally, Wu was on oxygen because it seemed to be making her more comfortable.

We couldn’t sleep after that, of course, so we cried for a little while and then watched TV for the distraction. A got to sleep before I did; I think I finally fell asleep around 3:30. This morning I called for a progress report. The nurse said her breathing seemed about the same, so she was still in the oxygen cage. She noted that her blood pressure had improved (didn’t say how much) and she seemed a little bit more responsive although still quiet. She’s going to be fit into the on-site cardiologist’s schedule as soon as possible, and if we haven’t heard anything by noon we are welcome to call back for another progress report.

We are trying to accept that Wu is dying. She was born in February 1999, so she’s still young. I don’t think I’ve had a cat die before that I really remember, so I’m taking it pretty hard. Visiting hours end at 5:00 today so I am thinking of asking to leave work early so I can get there in time to see her.

Right now I am at the emergency vet waiting to see Wu. Yesterday she wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t eating; in the middle of the night she vomited. We were hoping she would be better by tonight but when I got home from work she was much worse. She is normally active and talkative, but she has been listless and silent. She vomited again a few minutes after I got home, and she was panting, so I knew she had to be brought in. Unfortunately our vet is a little ways away, and it’s rush hour, so I brought her to the emergency vet a few miles from our home. Based on discussion with the vet, it sounds like it’s an ulcer related to the prednisone she’s been on for six weeks for asthma. Her breathing might be related to a heart problem rather than actually being asthma; our own vet had told us this too but we were crossing our fingers that wasn’t it. Now it seems she might indeed have a heart problem, in which case the prednisone is making her worse. So they are going to keep her for 36 hours and they are going to have her seen by a cardiologist tomorrow. The estimate was $1,836. They whisked her away as soon as I got here, so I have asked to see her briefly before I go and I’m waiting for someone to have time to bring me back there. I’ve already cried a tiny bit when nobody was looking. I hope she’ll be okay. I hope it’s just a blockage or something, or an ulcer that can be fixed, and not something much more serious. I love my kitty. We’ve only had her a little over a year, before that she lived with A’s parents and she was shy whenever we were over there. But she has blossomed so much with us and I love her. I’m scared, I hope they can make her better without it costing too much, because I don’t want to have to make that choice. My poor kitty.

There are some emotional musings I need to get out. They’re kind of rambling and confused. I’m pretty open online about who I am and how I’m feeling, so I’m going to share these thoughts.
Read the rest of this entry »

Well, I made myself late for work, but I was a good samaritan. Someone had struck a deer on Route 50 just before Prosperity, and it was dying in the right lane as people just drove around it. I pulled over and called 911, and within about three minutes there was an officer on the scene. I said “it’s still alive” and she said “yeah, we’re gonna have to put it down.” She made me get behind my car and she looked at the deer for a couple of seconds before getting out her service weapon and shooting it. She took it by the hind legs and pulled it off the road, but it wasn’t dead so she had to shoot it again. I got back into my car and she got back into hers and pulled over on the median in front of me. I was going to just go, but she got out and walked back to me. She asked if I was the one who had struck it (no), and if I had seen who did (also no). She said she would help me get back into traffic (people were driving by to my right), and she stopped both lanes and let me get back on the road.

If you want to hear about the gore, click here to translate the following. I’m sharing this because I saw it, and I have to record it for myself, but it’s graphic so I’m encoding it. If you want to mention this section in your comment, please encode it at the same link.
Jura V svefg fnj gur qrre, vg ybbxrq qrnq. V chyyrq bire naljnl. Naq gura V fnj gung vg jnfa’g qrnq, vg jnf dhvgr nyvir, ohg greevoyl vawherq. Vgf gnvy jnf n srj lneqf njnl naq vgf gnvyobar jnf ivfvoyr. Vg jnf n lbhat znyr jvgu whfg bar irel fznyy nagyre. V jngpurq va ubeebe naq qvfznl nf vg gevrq ercrngrqyl gb trg hc. Vg tbg vgf srrg haqre vg n srj gvzrf, naq bapr vg rira tbg n srj vapurf bss gur tebhaq, ohg vg pbyyncfrq ntnva. Gurer jnf n ybg bs oybbq ba gur ebnq, naq zber pbzvat sebz vgf zbhgu. V pna’g rzcunfvmr rabhtu gung guvf qrre jnf NYVIR. V ubcr vg jnf va fubpx ng yrnfg fb vg jnfa’g va cnva. Jura gur bssvpre fubg vg gur svefg gvzr, vg gjvgpurq n ovg, naq nf fur qenttrq vg bss gur ebnq vg sybccrq nebhaq - jr obgu xarj vg jnfa’g qrnq. Fur jngpurq vg sbe n srj zber frpbaqf orsber gnxvat nvz ntnva. Gur thafubgf fbhaqrq yvxr sverpenpxref - whfg bar ybhq ONAT naq gung jnf vg. Nsgre gur frpbaq fubg, gur qrre sybccrq n pbhcyr bs gvzrf naq gura jrag vagb greevoyr pbaihyfvbaf sbe n srj frpbaqf zber.

As I approached work, I heard a traffic report: “Route 50 and Prosperity, a report of an accident a short time ago.”

Goodnight, Bambi. Sleep well.

Note: I took a couple of snapshots. Here is the deer alone on the road, and here just before she shot it. (The glare in the second one is the sun, not the gunshot!) These pictures are not gory, but they might not be for sensitive readers.