I think I shall never become a scuba diver. I had my first class today at school. For those who don’t know, I had an injury on a 2006 “discover scuba” trip in Bermuda; my hearing was damaged as a result of this. But the world underwater was SO cool, and I really wanted to go back, so I signed up for the class. First I couldn’t swim the 18 laps required – I did 3 and a half and then suddenly couldn’t finish; I had to pull myself along the lane divider just to make it back to the wall. Embarrassing, but the teacher said I could practice over the next week and do it again at the next class.

Then it was time to dive halfway down the depth of the pool, and swim across its width, underwater the whole time. I was the third or fourth person to go. I was already in the water, so I went down and started to go out, and my right ear exploded in a very familiar pain…the pressure had done something. I came up immediately and clung to the wall in tears for several moments – fabulously embarrassing! The teacher and her two assistants came over to check on me, but I had to pull myself out of the pool. I collapsed and cried for a few minutes, then recovered myself. Another student said he’s had the same thing happen, and sure enough when he did his underwater swim, he came up saying his ear hurt really bad. By the end of class I was able to do the five minutes of treading water with no problem (high-fived another fat chick for that!) and I did the 5-minute float too. It was very peaceful just floating, even though my ear still hurt; at one point I looked around and saw the teacher pointing to me and telling her assistant that my float was perfect. Well, at least that. After class I explained what happened in Bermuda and said I’d probably drop the class.

Back at home, I watched Law & Order: Criminal Intent. The episode happened to be about scuba diving, and I was surprised to hear a character say “I can’t dive, I ruptured my labyrinthine membrane.” A few minutes later, one of the cops hung up the phone and said “his doctor confirmed he has an inner ear condition, he can’t dive deeper than a pool.” Needless to say, I turned on the computer and looked it up. The labyrinth is a part of your ear, and when it ruptures, it can cause sensorineural hearing loss. That’s where my jaw really hit the floor. When my hearing loss was being diagnosed, I had a brain test that showed my primary hearing loss is sensorineural, not conductive. Could I have ruptured my labyrinthine membrane, and that’s why I can’t dive deeper than a (standard) pool? Apparently surgery can help restore hearing…is it worth finding out more about that? I’m happy the way I am, still dealing with accepting my hearing loss, but adapting to my new normals…should I look into it? How much would it cost to confirm the LMR? How much would it cost to repair it? That second link refers to the surgery also helping with vertigo, but I don’t have vertigo…maybe it isn’t really LMR? All very interesting…thanks Law & Order!

I am feeling better today. Still staying home for one more day but I feel I’ve been more productive today than I have been for the past several days. I’m still really tired but I don’t think it’s mono and I’m hoping to go back to school tomorrow. Forwarded a letter from my doctor to all my teachers. Did I mention I’m still tired? Yeah, so this is all you get, but at least it’s in complete sentences this time. Ahahaha.

Apologies to my mom for not updating sooner. Been real sick. Went to doctor today. If fatigue isn’t better by end of week, will go in for bloodwork. Possibly mono but more likely just virus. Tired, so tired. Couldn’t even brush own hair last night. Got note from doc about school but would … Okay, four hours later, forget what I was saying.

I feel like I’m outside my body or something. It started with overdoing it while swimming. I swam about 7 laps in 15 minutes and I was done. And I way overdid it. My muscles were all screaming in pain the whole way home, and I took three Advil when I got there and it took the edge off a little. But now I just feel really weird. Like my stomach is not right. Like I can smell vomit in my nostrils even though there is none around and my breath doesn’t smell like it. So I am physically crippled by the muscle pain – only 30 minutes till I can have more Advil! – and mentally crippled by completely having no idea what is going on. I haven’t done anything tonight. I’m alternately cold and hot. I don’t know if I’m sick or not. My brain is just non-functional for no apparent reason. I was fine earlier today. What the hell is going on? Who took away normal me and replaced her with some imaginary thing? And no, I have not had any substances. Except Advil, and probably some chlorine while swimming. I just feel so freaky. I’m not even in my body.

I was going to write a long detailed post, but in the interest of maintaining the family’s privacy, I will just ask those of you who pray to pray for my supervisor’s son, who is in the Cardiac ICU at Children’s Hospital in Washington, DC. He is on the fast track for a heart transplant because they hope that will make him well again – but they don’t even know what’s wrong. It’s a very grave situation, so if you are the type to send well wishes or good vibes, please do that too.

Edit: Redirect your good vibes a little bit north; he’s being moved to Johns Hopkins as soon as a bed is available.

I spent most of yesterday asleep because I woke up in the morning with sinus pain and :A: gave me two Sudafed. So I crashed the rest of the day. I tried watching a movie but I had to pause it for a nap, I tried getting up but I had another nap, etc. I missed yesterday’s gratitude post, so I think I will turn that into an occasional feature rather than a one-month thing. Today I took my sandals to be repaired…despite my post about how wonderful they are, it turns out they are in need of resoling. So I brought them in and they’ll be fixed for $40, plus I did end up buying a new pair – exact same size and style, but this time in black Birko-Flor. That was $70.

I haven’t posted in a couple of days, bad me. For 24 hours I’ve been trying to ignore really bad back pain, so bad I can’t hardly move. Last night I couldn’t even scratch my nose without it hurting, from moving my arm or whatever. Heating pads, extra sleeping, painkillers, etc. It’s driving me insane, I can’t focus on my homework – I’m supposed to be doing reading for Sex & Gender class tomorrow. I will have to catch a ride tomorrow because I can’t imagine driving like this. It’s insane.

Today we flew home. That’s pretty much all we did. Except I woke up this morning officially sick instead of just feeling poorly. I made it home fine, except for the descent into Washington. I think a combination of the October 2006 scuba accident and being congested from the cold combined into a terrible situation in my left ear, and I thought I was going to die. It wouldn’t pop no matter what tricks I tried. I was literally in tears from the pain. I thought for sure my eardrum was going to rupture again. Fortunately a flight attendant talked me through the “pinch nose and blow” trick, which I had tried and not succeeded with…she said the trick is to do it very slowly. The pain when my ear popped was intense but it quickly subsided after that.

So yeah, I feel pretty crappy today. I am planning to spend most of tomorrow in bed, but I do want to run over to our house – we’re still house-sitting – and get the mail and whatnot. I miss California already, and not just for the weather. :A: has wanted to move back there for years, and I’m considering the possibility after I’m done with school. In fact, I kind of want to pick up and go now, but Gallaudet is the only place to get the experience I want.

For the past – two? three? – days, I’ve been dealing with a bit of soreness from my helix piercing. I got it done back in April, and it healed up perfectly fine; I’ve changed the ring twice and had no problems with it.

Recently, I got some really cool skull earrings. My conch is still healing, so I can’t change that one yet, but I changed out my helix immediately. It was fine for three or four days, and then a couple of days ago it started to hurt.

I asked about this on a piercing forum on BME, suggesting that perhaps the skull weighed more than a plain bead, and I got a few different responses. The first person pointed out that the metal was 316L steel, which is a lower grade than the 316LVM reputable piercers will give you when you first get pierced; he suggested I was having a reaction to that. But I checked out the star ring I’d gotten from the same company, and it’s also 316L, and I had no problems with it. Someone else suggested the ring might have surface damage because “no quality jewelry makers have skull beads.” I asked if surface damage was visible to the eye, detectable by a finger, and could be gotten used to. The guy said you “might or might not” be able to see/feel it, and called me foolish for thinking I could just get used to a damaged ring.

So I’m left with a few ideas on what’s wrong, and only one person suggested a solution: have a piercer adjust a 316LVM ring to fit the skull bead. Not a bad idea, but I’m thinking I’ll just leave it alone for now and see if it gets better. My conch is doing nicely meanwhile; I’ve gotten used to it and I like it now, even if it’s not the industrial I had wanted.

This is going to be about pee. Read on or not, the choice is yours.
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