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Today I went to Disneyland by myself. I was going to take today off and go tomorrow, but I read that MLK Day is coming up and it will be getting busy, so I figured I’d go sooner rather than later. It was fun, and I will write more about it tomorrow. Right now I am just writing to share a funny thing that just happened to me.
I decided I wanted to have a drink, so I went over to the 7-11 two doors down and bought a bottle of wine. I checked to make sure it had the twist-off top. I paid for it and brought it back to the room. After peeling back the outer wrapping, I discovered…it was not a twist-off top after all, but a regular cork, buried in the bottle! Remember, I’m on vacation…of course I have corkscrews at home but nothing here. I tried feebly poking at it a little bit but of course the cork didn’t budge. My wife suggested I take it down to the restaurant in the lobby, which has a poorly-stocked bar but was sure to at least have a corkscrew. So I took off my pajamas, got dressed again, and brought down the bottle; there was a corkscrew right there on the bar but I didn’t want to use it without permission. The host asked from halfway across the room if he could help me, and I beckoned him over. “I bought this at the store, and I thought it had a twist-off top, but it doesn’t! Can I borrow your corkscrew?” He handed it to me, and I proceeded to fumble with it…because I don’t actually know how to use one! He saw the trouble I was having and kindly did it for me, even removing the cork from the screw and giving it back to me.
So I now have 1.5L of 18 proof wine from some local winery…hey, I said I bought it at 7-11, right? It was only $7.50! Now I can actually enjoy it, because it’s OPEN. Thank goodness.
I made this!
Supposedly you can vote on it here, though I don’t see no votin’ link. Also, I ordered the lolrus shirt because I COOD NOT HEP MYSEFFS.
Technically dogs aren’t allowed on the boardwalk from April 1 to October 31, but it’s definitely past tourist season even though there’s technically a couple of weeks left. Nobody seems to mind the dogs around. A gay male couple just went by the one direction, walking a tiny Yorkie. They passed a giant St. Bernard wearing (I swear I am not making this up) a hot pink harness and leash. I think I actually heard the guy say “don’t laugh” as I started to chuckle. Anyway, the St. Bernard passed and the Yorkie sniffed at it, and the gay guys walking her said “down girl, don’t hurt that big dog!”
I am stoked about my new toy, so I wanted to share it. I got the Ninja Remote from Thinkgeek, because it is absolutely essential at Gallaudet. There are multiple TVs in the Rathskellar Pub and the Marketplace dining area and they are always playing different things, frequently at very high volume. Now I have the power of mute! I’ve already used it on the TV in the Honors Lounge - this morning I wanted to do a little writing for one of my classes, and the TV was on loudly and nobody was watching it, so I just aimed my Ninja Remote and muted it! Gosh it feels good to do that.
Deaf Cats.
Mr. Harrison Weir, president of the National Cat Club, England, says in his book “Our Cat,” that a white cat of the long or the short-haired breed is likely to be deaf. Should it have blue eyes, the fancy color, it is almost certain to be deaf. Mr Weir, at a cat show, purchased a white cat - a beauty, loving and gentle, for the low price of two guineas. When he got it home, the cat proved to be “stone deaf.”
Then the trouble began. if shut out of the dining room, its cry for admission could be heard all over the house, for it being deaf did not know the noise it made, though its owner often wished it could hear its own cry. When it called out as it sat on his lap, it called with ten-cat power, and its commanding voice caused it to be named the “Colonel.”
One day a friend saw the “beauty,” and admired it so much as to accept it for a gift, even after being told that it was “stone deaf.” A few days after Mr. Weir received a letter from the friend offering to return the loud-voiced cat.
“Give it to any one you please, but don’t return it to us,” was the reply.
The “Colonel” was given to a deaf old lady, and both were very happy.
The Silent Worker, vol. 4, no. 35, October 29, 1891.
So I’m filling out this little online survey profile thing, telling about stuff you like. There are choices for each entry: Live For It! - Love It - Like It - Tolerate It - Curious - No Opinion - Dislike It - Hate It - Hard Limit! I got to the section about “intellectual” interests and filled out my opinions on archaeology…biology…liberal politics…mathematics…and then I got to: nihilism.
I kind of have to answer No Opinion, don’t I?
It seems the users of Craigslist love cats. There are a whole bunch of postings about cats in the best of CL section. I was reading at work, and I was laughing so hard at some of these that I had to pinch my nose so I wouldn’t crack up out loud…and I thought I was going to blow out my eardrums again, it was so hilarious!
- From Milwaukee: Oh no fatty. That food’s not for you.
- From Central New Jersey: An Open Letter to My Girlfriend’s Cat
- From Vancouver: 2 effective Methods on bathing a CAT.
- From Toronto: Dudes, don’t shower/shave with your kitten…
- From New York City: Cheap place for extreme cat lovers - 73rd and 3rd
- From New York City: Dear CATS: You make it impossible to love you!!!!
- From Portland: Memo to my cat: I’m a vegan
I found a bunch of funny news stories that I had somehow missed in recent weeks. These are all from I Am Not A Hamster.
I forgot to mention the funny part about winning bingo at Tortilla Flats on Monday night. I was already halfway through my second margarita when they passed out the bingo cards, but I was very careful to mark off the right numbers - if you called bingo and had it wrong, your entire party was disqualified. Two people had already called out bingo before me, but both were wrong. When I called out that I had bingo, we overheard from another table: