I’m going to talk about a serious type of body modification - one that I feel I need. That’s laser hair removal. Okay, it’s not modification in the standard sense, but it is modification. You see, I am a xyrophobe.
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As much fun as I’m having in school, as many friends as I have right now, I’m still afraid. It’s not self-esteem this time. My good grades have done wonders for my self-esteem. It’s plain old insecurity.

Maybe part of this stems from not living on campus, but I’m afraid of losing my friends. What’s going to happen next semester? Next year? Will I find myself back in the land of having books as my only friends? Will I study hard and get good grades but find myself alone?

It almost makes me want to run away from school so I forget about the friends before they forget about me. But really, did I come to school for a social life, or for a degree? Shouldn’t I be happy getting A’s even without the friends? Is it just that I have something now that I’ve never had before (ie, friends) and I’m afraid of losing them?

School is my job now. I haven’t had a lot of friends in my previous jobs. Can’t I get by without them? Secretly eating my lunch in the Deaf Stacks of the library, hoping nobody catches me with the food? Or will I just work a lot more hours so I forget about it all?

Why am I so scared, dammit? Maybe I am worth keeping as a friend. I’m smart and I can give advice sometimes and I try to be nice to everybody. So why do I worry like this?

I am a worrier, and right now I am very worried about the weather affecting our travel plans. We are supposed to get hit with a bad storm and it’s going to be tough getting to the airport and who knows if our flight will even be going. The words “might not leave until Thursday night” escaped my wife’s lips and I could just cry.

I know the weather is out of my hands, but I worry about it anyway. I can’t just sit back and say “well, we’ll see what happens” - I fret about it. My wife asked her boss if the company would pay to move our flight to tomorrow instead of Wednesday, so we could get out before the weather gets really bad, but he is apparently of the opinion that “it’s just going to rain” so the answer was no. We were thinking of staying at the hotel near the airport so we’d have an easier time getting there, but the boss won’t authorize it and we can’t afford to do it ourselves.

I don’t travel enough to know what happens when there’s bad weather - how bad it has to be before the airports close. I also don’t know if the cab company will send a vehicle that can handle poor road conditions, and we don’t know anybody with a four-wheel drive vehicle, so I am just sitting and worrying with nothing I can do.