I just did my first official actual booking through my travel agency, Cogswell Travel. It’s actually for myself, though…I’m putting together a group from a forum I participate on, and I wanted to set a good example by booking myself. It’s January 5, 2009 and leaves from Miami with stops at Key West and Cozumel plus one day at sea. I’ve never been on Carnival before, have always shied away from it in fact due to its party reputation, but it was the cheapest option for the group so I went with it. It’ll be on the Carnival Imagination and I am in cabin R62. Right now I’m the only one in there; I am set up to pay the single supplement, but if I find a roommate I can always add her and it will adjust appropriately. If I went by myself, the cruise fare would be just under $500, and airfare will probably be about $200 by the time I’m ready to book it. If I find a roommate it will drop to about $350 for each of us for the full cruise fare. I’d really rather go alone, because it’s a tiny inside cabin (category 1A) and I’m shy with strangers, but I would like to go as cheaply as possible so I will try to find a roommate. Any takers? I’d be happy to give more info…would be good to go with someone I know…

I’ve been told that this column will disappear in a week or so when it is replaced with a new one, and I wanted to preserve a copy as well as share the information. This is originally from Wayne Besen’s column. It explains why I will never go to Jamaica, and if I’m on a cruise that stops in Jamaica - which I will avoid booking in the first place, but if I dock there - I won’t get off the ship.

It’s Time to Boycott Jamaica
by Wayne Besen
Gay bashing in Jamaica is so prevalent that in 2006 Time magazine wrote an article about the island headlined, “The Most Homophobic Place On Earth?” The New York Times this week showed that the anti-gay climate has only worsened, with the island caught in a downward spiral of outright psychosis. It is time to hand an ultimatum to Jamaica’s public officials: Stop allowing rampant abuse of gay people or your economy will be crippled.

The Times story is downright chilling. It details how last month five gay men were having a dinner party when a mob appeared at the front door – kicking it in and attacking the men. While screaming homophobic epithets, between 15-20 thugs beat the victims senseless with sticks and cut them with machetes. One man is still missing, but police found blood at the mouth of a deep hole near the yard.

This was not an isolated incident. The Times went on to report a shocking attack on a gay man’s funeral last year, where hooligans trashed the church with rocks and bottles as the service was in session. Of course, this unholy barbarism occurred in the name of God. Interestingly, Jamaicans have turned their sex-fueled island into a heterosexual bathhouse and ganja den, but seem to get sanctimonious and discover the Bible when it comes to homosexuality.

Prior to these incidents, two of the island’s notable gay advocates, Steve Harvey and Brian Williamson, were murdered. Time Magazine reported that a crowd celebrated over Williamson’s disfigured body. Time also recounted an incident in 2004 where a teen was nearly killed when his father learned his son was gay and urged a mob to lynch the boy at his school. In the same year, it was reported that police heartily cheered on another mob as it stabbed and stoned a gay man to death in Montego Bay. In 2006, a Kingston man drowned after a horde screaming “batty boy” (a Jamaican slur for gay people) chased him off a high dock.

On American docks, six hundred miles west of this homophobic hellhole, tourists regularly line up to board massive luxury liners destined for Jamaica. The tropical island earned $2.1 billion from tourism in 2006, an increase of 24 percent over 2005. More than three million people visited Jamaica in 2006, with 1,025,000 arrivals from the United States.

Clearly, the answer to Jamaica’s love affair with lynching is an aggressive campaign designed to put the clamp on tourism – particularly the cruise industry. The goal should be to strangle Jamaica’s economy and force the island to change or suffer severe consequences. With tourism Jamaica’s second largest source of revenue, such a campaign could have a powerful impact that achieves tangible results.

It appears that four major cruise lines are the main conduits in which people infuse Jamaica’s economy with blood money. They are Carnival, Costa, Celebrity and Royal Caribbean. The ports where the ships leave are Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Port Canaveral and Galveston.

It is imperative that one of the GLBT international groups or a major U.S. gay rights group create a campaign to shame these corporations and the passengers that travel on their ships. With so few ports, it would be relatively simple to call for a boycott and picket, while handing hand out informational flyers to cruisers. A “Boycott Jamaica” advertising campaign would greatly strengthen these actions. Billboards would need to be strategically placed along I-95 between Miami and Fort Lauderdale with the bold headline: “JA-MURDER.”

Undoubtedly, there are many passengers with gay friends and family members who are unaware of Jamaica’s sickening and immoral violence against GLBT people. Once informed, many individuals would opt to vacation elsewhere. There is no doubt that with a concerted effort, Jamaica could be brought to its knees.

To lift such a boycott, Jamaica would have to abolish its “buggery” law. Public officials would have to undergo sensitivity training. The police would be required to set up daily undercover stings – where officers would dress in stereotypically gay clothing and arrest would-be attackers. Finally, Jamaica’s public officials would have to openly welcome gay and lesbian travelers and offer enthusiastic support for homosexuals living within the country.

It is time we stopped vacationing from our responsibility and started holding Jamaica and its corporate enablers accountable. Until anti-gay atrocities are no longer the norm, Jamaica must be seen as an international pariah, rather than the faux paradise it presents to the world.

©365Gay.com 2008

Sea days are a little on the boring side, if you ask me. I was woken up at 10am by the cruise director making a long announcement about the disembarkation talk, which is great to attend if you’re a first-time cruiser, but pretty useless if you’ve been there and done that. We laid out plans for the day that included “ultimate trivia” in the afternoon, but I didn’t make it to the trivia. We looked in the shops one last time, and I found a great ring that unfortunately didn’t look right with my wedding ring, or I would have gotten it. (It didn’t fit on the other hand, and the setting wasn’t resizeable because it was an estate-type setting.)

We had lunch next, and I was excited to find three delicious choices on the vegetarian menu - I ended up selecting the “Thai noodle salad” which was under the cold dishes. I was terribly disappointed in it - it was slightly spicy, but not in a Thai way, and it tasted very much like there was too much mayo in it. Despite this, a woman at the next table got my attention, and asked what I was eating; I told her that it was from the vegetarian menu. She called her waiter over and said “I didn’t like this, I want what she’s having” - the first time I ever heard of anybody wanting something off the vegetarian menu! It was amusing, but I hope she didn’t get annoyed when it turned out to be icky! (A thinks it was probably perfectly to her liking, considering that most people on board prefer pretty bland food, as evidenced by the normal menus.)

In the afternoon, we did some gambling. I lost $10 in a nickel slot machine, and A played $10 and won $20 in the machine next to mine, so if you consider our finances pooled, we broke even. (Technically it was my money anyway, I gave her the $10!) We cashed out about halfway through and played directly with the nickels…your hands get really dirty that way though. At 4:30 we went over to the theater to play bingo, which we never win. It cost $30 per card, and we each got one card, so I was really hoping to win the $1000 jackpot - it would have paid off our onboard account plus we would have had a couple hundred dollars left over. I got really excited because I was just one number away from winning at blackout bingo (you have to mark ALL your numbers) but of course someone beat me to it. She didn’t sound particularly excited, which I thought was weird. Two other people also had valid bingos, so they split the jackpot.

At dinner, we had a cake brought to us for our 10th anniversary - our waiter was so good, he had remembered from when I told him earlier in the week that I wanted one on Friday! They always remember everything on cruise ships…sometimes I think a perfect memory is a standard job requirement. Our waiter, assistant waiter, maitre d’, and another random assistant waiter sang “Happy Anniversary to You” for us, we blew out the two candles together, and then the waiter took it away and brought back a slice of cake with ice cream for each of us. I hope the crew got to eat the rest of the cake, or somebody at least, because it was a really big cake and we each only had one piece!

I had to burn up my internet minutes in the evening, and I ended up being the last person they chased out of the computer center. I noticed that the guy didn’t try to warn me or anything like he did with the other people…he just let me go on and on until about 15 minutes past closing. When he did chase me out, he explained the server would be getting reset, rather than just saying “we’re closed” - somehow he picked up on me being a nerd, I guess.

Today we woke up to a broken air conditioner. That plus the broken bathroom light and lack of hot water made us happy to get out of the hotel. We took a cab over to the pier in Isla Grande, which is where Celebrity docks. We got there pretty early, and as a result we were one of the first few dozen people in line, so we breezed through registration and got right onboard!

Of course we had a really long walk to get to our cabin, #7010. We wanted to book a couple of shore excursions but the in-room system wasn’t working yet, so we dropped off our carry-on bags and went down to the shore excursions desk to sign up for kayaking in Bonaire and tubing in Dominica. We got some food at the buffet - the only place that was open - and then I went to the internet cafe to sign up for a wifi account. Once that was done, I toted my laptop to the nearest comfortable hotspot - I had thought the whole ship was wireless, but apparently not; just as well because otherwise I would burn through my 250 minutes in a flash. (That cost $100, if you’re wondering.) I got the wifi working, uploaded some homework, and came back to the room for a nap! (I hadn’t slept well because of the broken air conditioner; I woke up at 4am but at the time I didn’t know that was the reason.)

We found the quietest bar on the ship, or what seemed to be, and made friends with the bartending team. (One does this by tipping well, of course.) It turned out that the opening Pied Piper party - with its one-hour open bar - was in the same place, so we just stayed put! A bunch of people recognized me from Cruise Critic, and we made friends. Dinner was awfully late, 8:30 is much later than I am used to! Plus, by the time dessert arrived, they were minutes away from the lifeboat drill. On our way back to our cabin to get our vests, a cabin steward stopped us and said “you look like some guests I had before” - sure enough, it was Luzviminda, our steward from the Zenith in 2006! It was quite amusing to see her again. The lifeboat drill was a bore, of course, but now we are underway so I’m going to TRY to send this on my Sidekick before we go out of range!

Getting off the ship in Seattle was reasonably painless. In fact, they were early, and we weren’t finished eating breakfast but they were trying to hustle us off the ship! We basically just walked right off - with one more trip past the hand sanitizers, I’m not sure why they care if you’re leaving! - and headed straight into the terminal. The customs officer didn’t even glance at my passport, and we went to collect our luggage and catch a cab to the hotel.

I really loved our hotel as soon as I saw it, it was called the Moore Hotel. Unfortunately we there much too early to check in - we got there around 10:00 and check-in was firm at 3:00! So my mom went to walk around, I went geocaching, and A just stayed in the hotel lobby to read. When I was done geocaching, I went back to the hotel and found A there, and we went to Pike’s Place Market to get something to eat. I had really fabulous Thai food at a little hole in the wall called Jasmine Thai - it was so great!

We went back to the hotel and found that our room was ready. We had been told that it was just an L-shaped room with no divisions, but we were pleasantly surprised to find that there was in fact a door. We’d already been promised to be moved to a different room (also with two separate rooms) for the next two nights that was cheaper, so we stuck with that plan even though the room we were in turned out to be fine.

Today was more or less a sea day, because we didn’t get into Victoria until 6:00pm. We played bingo in the morning, which of course was a waste - we didn’t win cash or a free cruise, so the point was really just to have fun playing. A said she likes it better than slots because the suspense is more drawn out.

We went to lunch at the Summer Palace restaurant with my mom, and the boat was rocking hard for several hours. It didn’t bother me at all (perhaps I should take up surfing?) but I still had a hard time in the hallways because everyone ELSE was tottering around.

At Victoria, we boarded our bus for a tour around the city. I thought the bus driver was pretty bad - LOTS of dumb jokes, mentioning things HE could see without saying “on your right” or “about 2:00″ or anything, etc. I just didn’t like the guy. When the tour was over, he brought us back to the ship. We immediately took the shuttle bus back downtown so I could do a little geocaching; I found one virtual easily, and I tried for a nearby physical one but it was somewhere that wasn’t open 24 hours.

We took the shuttle back to the ship and found out the cafe where we were to meet ms_interpret at 11:15pm actually closed at 10pm. Rather than waiting around alone in the dark and cold, we decided to head back onto the ship so we could finish last-minute packing before the bags had to be placed in the hallway at 1am.

Our day at sea was spent very simply. We read a lot, and we looked at Hubbard Glacier, which looked pretty much just like it did the last time I saw it. It was nice to have a balcony this time though; I was able to enjoy it from my own room rather than out on deck with a million other people. I don’t think we got as close as I did back in September 2005, though - I heard something about there being baby seals around so we couldn’t get any closer than a certain point. In addition to the weather, greater snowmelt, and better sales (end of season), that’s another reason to go in September if we go again. I think also, if we go again, I won’t do any shore excursions in some places because I still haven’t fully explored them myself. (The White Pass railway is still a must-do, though.)

Our first day at sea was, as usual, pretty uneventful. A and I woke up very early, and I had my dislike of freestyle dining confirmed by being sent on a wild goose chase looking for breakfast. I wanted table service, not the buffet, but it was nearly impossible to find. We finally got squared away in the Summer Palace dining room, which has traditional dining, the way I like it. Breakfast was fine.

After breakfast, A and I did some reading in the Bliss nightclub, which has really cool Asian-inspired decor and plays 80’s music videos on big screens. We went back there later in the day and played bowling for $10 total for one game. I think A bowled a 61 and I bowled a 44. I also got to play a single hole of Wii golf around lunchtime. I could have played more but there were lots of eager kids waiting so I kept my turn short.

When it was time to get ready for formal night, I discovered that I left my dress at home. I quickly ran to the gift shop but they didn’t have black slacks in exactly my size. I bought them anyway but they really were too small and I tried to return them. Unfortunately I could only have store credit, and only on the spot! I ended up with a bottle of DiSaronno amaretto, which you can’t even keep in your cabin; a nail kit that I thought was a wallet; and a 3 Musketeers bar.

I was unimpressed with Mambo’s, the tex-mex place we tried for dinner. I had really been looking forward to it, and the salsa before the meal was great, but the entree wasn’t any good at all. Even the margarita was barely passable. After dinner we went to the onstage show, Garden of a Geisha. A and I agreed that it was unintentionally hilarious. One of the geishas was played by a man and he smirked the whole time. The show wasn’t very realistic - I’m sure real geishas, and any self-respecting Japanese person, would have fled the auditorium immediately. It didn’t help that one of the male characters was wearing the obi of an unmarried woman, or that the acrobats did little more than voguing in midair. After all this we tried to go to the Friends of Dorothy meeting again, but we arrived 20 minutes late so who knows if anybody had shown up. We had fun with the bartender and server again, we had a lot of drinks and tipped them well.

It’s less than a month until I leave on another cruise…I can’t help it, they’re fun! This one is the first time I am going on a cruise booked through a human travel agent, which is a little strange because she keeps contacting us with information about this and that…and I’ve already done all the research online, thank you very much!

I really prefer booking cruises online. It’s important to shop around for the little perks that online travel agencies will give you. Direct Line offers free travel insurance with any Norwegian, Royal Caribbean, or Celebrity cruises vacation booked through them. The company is run by a family, and they keep a cruise blog that’s pretty up-to-date - I hadn’t heard yet that NCL’s Pride of Hawaii is being reflagged and renamed Norwegian Jade. And… they say there are Nintendo Wiis on the Pearl! I might get to try a Wii in less than a month!

Today was hectic. I woke up late (11am, but only because we regained an hour overnight by leaving the Alaska time zone) and ran upstairs to the Lido deck to catch my favorite muesli before it was taken away. Afterward I came back to the room, where J was still sleeping, and took a brief nap. I noticed the disembarkation talk was at 1:00, so I set a wakeup call for 12:40. When the call came, J was gone, and I went to the talk.

To make a long and whiny story short, I worked for the next three hours. The interpreter coordinator was there for most of it and became keenly aware that J was slacking off. Later in the day, I was involved in conversations that included the words “no professional boundaries.” I was told that my interpreting was fine but not great, and I received an apology for a lack of specific feedback.

Anyway, I ended up going to Victoria with a bunch of deaf passengers and M, my co-terp. I actually had a rather nice time walking around and shopping; I bought a few things, mostly for myself. I was supposed to meet up with someone, but I had no money for a pay phone and I couldn’t find one anyway that wasn’t occupied by ship crew members calling home. We had extra time before going back to the ship but we were done so we just caught the bus back. There was a little social gathering of the deaf passengers around 1am but I realized I was not one of the cool people so I walked away sadly without saying goodbye.

It was a positive experience overall, but I’m glad the cruise is over. I’m tired.