I just watched an episode of Supernanny featuring the Prescott family, Kadi and Daniel and their seven kids. One theme throughout the episode was that Kadi’s father had come out as gay when she was 13 and left the family, leaving her with feelings of abandonment; her husband Daniel didn’t approve of homosexuality and as a result there was virtually no relationship between Kadi and her father.
Jo, the nanny on the show, got Kadi’s dad on the phone. (I’ve noticed she does as much for parents as she does for kids.) She did a little small talk, and then asked, “so can you tell us about the choice you made?” The father proceeded to explain that he’d always had those feelings, he tried to deny them, he got married, that didn’t fix them, and he finally felt free when he came out.
I was so surprised. Did he really think that’s what Jo meant? I’m quite sure she meant “the choice to leave your family behind” and not the choice to become gay. What a surprise for me to hear that’s not how he interpreted it at all. He’s been coached to believe that his gayness is wrong, poor guy. He thinks it was a choice he made.
Probably the same kind of coaching that makes you believe the only way to be free to be gay is to abandon all ties to your family. Maybe Kadi’s mom sent dad away so he wouldn’t make the kids gay. Why must the kids lose their father completely just because you lost a marriage? Of course, this was a generation ago, so everyone probably agreed all options were exhausted.