Today I got a check from the Virginia DMV for $16.67, with the note “RES LICENSE FEE REF” – they’re refunding the money I paid for a personalized license plate. I ordered the plate on April 14th, and it was supposed to take about four weeks to come, so I’ve been eagerly watching the mail. I haven’t called them yet to confirm the reason, but I assume they rejected me because “YUM TOFU” might be seen as obscene. The woman in Colorado who wanted “ILVTOFU” was my inspiration for the plates, and I was rejoicing that Virginia was more open-minded, but it seems I was wrong. Apparently the combination T-O-F-U is automatically dirty, even though it’s printed in cookbooks, supermarkets, restaurant menus, etc.

I wish they had given me the opportunity to request something else instead of sending a refund check. Now I have to deposit it, which is kind of a pain because my credit union only has one branch in the state, and it’s not convenient to me. I have to mail in this check, and really I’d rather they kept the money and let me pick something else. I have no idea what I’d get, of course; I’m sure the plate “HRT CATS” would be rejected in case I’m an animal abuser, but they don’t let you put “<3 CATS" on there, so it's a no-win situation. Even "FELIDAE" is already taken.

“GRL GEEK” is available. “RIVR TAM” is not (ha!). I can’t think of what else I could want right now. Too disappointed, I guess. Fuckers.