So I’m a member of a site called FatSecret.com, which is a funny name but they have good food/exercise tracking tools. It’s similar to SparkPeople (which I’ve used in the past) but has a better look to it IMHO.
I have been hovering at 200 pounds for a long time. I wear size 14/16 on top and 18/20 on bottom. I am surrounded by skinny people constantly at school. I try and try to remember that my weight doesn’t matter, and I love that my friends like me even if I am fat. But I’m not happy. I just can’t be. I want to lose weight.
Partly because I want pretty clothes for cheap. (Lane Bryant has some nice stuff, but it’s so expensive – Torrid too.). Partly because I think the people around me are so much better looking than me. And because this, because that. Isn’t it enough that I’m just not happy?
I dislike when people are on diet sites with a start weight of 111 and a goal of 105. Shut up!! Don’t you realize there’s practically no difference? Don’t you realize you make us ACTUALLY fat people feel like whales? Don’t you realize I would love to be your start weight? And yet I know that every time I have those thoughts, some 350-lb person thinks the EXACT same thing about me. So I try to remember that everybody has to determine their own best weight. (With the possible exception of anorexics, who are incapable of determing their best weight due to mental illness. Have I ever mentioned how much I admire anorexics? Such astonishing willpower.)
I talked about this a little bit with my therapist a month ago. But she probably doesn’t weigh over 115 herself, and I just can’t see talking to someone who I am jealous of, about the thing I am jealous of. No, I don’t know her personal experience, maybe she’s lost 300 pounds in the past. But she’s a grad student, and I suspect she is just a skinny little thing like everybody else at college. And I don’t feel that talking to someone who can’t empathize would be helpful. She was a pretty good therapist (for a student) but talking to her about body image just made me feel embarassed and sick. So I don’t think I’ll go back about that particular issue.
If I had $121/week, I think I’d go back on Diet to Go. Of course I’d have to figure out refrigerator space, but I think it would help. It would at least kickstart me and might even get me to 180, which is my current goal weight. My dream weight used to be 110, which is what I weighed in college (the first time). That’s so unrealistic now that I don’t even think about it. Right now I’d like to be about 140 on a long-term basis. I’m 5’4″ so I think that might be okay. But anyway, yeah, Diet to Go…I miss it. I just don’t have $121/week anymore.
It’s all a willpower issue. I have lost weight before; when I first realized I had begun gaining beyond my college weight, I was 168. I went down to 134 on WW but I can’t get back there. I don’t want to do WW again because it’s too easy to cheat. Maybe I should try an all-frozen-foods diet. I could have waffles, soy patties/sausages/bacon, and Amy’s stuff for breakfast. Then various frozen meals for lunch and dinner. I’m not sure there’s enough variety there, though, and when I tried a tiny nibble of meat a couple of months ago I didn’t like it.
This is all just musing, obviously. I’m just whining, really. I’ve been trying to lose weight since 2002 and food has become an obsession. I think about every bite I take. I write long blog entries like this. I plan meal schedules, and I guilt-trip when I break them (which happens almost daily). I’m tired of all this, but I still can’t stop the desire to lose weight. I think if I could be a size 10/12 I would be so happy and feel better. Blah blah lifestyle change etc, yeah yeah. Sigh.
Hey Meredith,
I’ve had weight issues since I was 10 years old, so I know at least some of what you are talking about. In the last year or two, I’ve been doing something new. It initially wasn’t for the purpose of losing weight, but for gaining possible health benefits. But it has worked really well as a weight management and loss device.
It’s called Intermittant fasting and involves not eatng for an extended period (usually never more than 36 hours, but often less), and then eating for another period. I eat between 6 and 10 each night, and then “fast” until the next day at 6pm, which means 20 hours of “fasting” although 8 of those I’m asleep anyway. We all fast for at least 8 hours each day which we sleep, right?
Most people initially have a really negative impression of this because of all of the things we’ve been brainwashed to think are healthy or right, but which actually don’t have any basis in science. For example there is this common myth that you need to eat constantly throughout the day to keep your metabolism up so you burn more calories, and that not eating for too long will put you into “starvation mode” but neither of these have been proven, they are just one of the many theories out there that have been repeated so much as IF they were fact, that that is what people think they are. Contrary to what “common sense” tells you, not only am I not starving throughout the day, but I think much less about food until right near 6pm. This frees my mind up to think about other things. Most people who do this, like myself, also actually get a BOOST of energy when they fast, probably because they are not using all this energy to digest their food throughout the day! You’re not supposed to restrict your calories on this diet. You basically eat what you want to eat. The point is that it’s hard to consume huge amounts of calories in 4 hours if that’s all you have. I can eat a lot, but after an hour, I’m going to be pretty full and probably won’t feel like eating again until after the window is over. It was easy for me to convince myself to follow that one rule of eating only within the 4-5 hour window, given that once in that window I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted.
Anyway, if you’re at all interested, you can check out one guy’s take on doing it. I believe his is the only real “diet book” about intermittant fasting, and you can actually download a free copy on his site:
The reason I started doing it is because it was initially shown in some animal studies that it might actually have health benefits similar to CR (Calorie Restriction) diets that they are showing can improves lifespan and healthspan.
I agree with you people who are trying to lose couple pounds are just a waste of time, I’m hovering 250 and my goal is to reach 175 by next summer. If they aren’t up for the pain, get out the game.
I’m not a big fan of weight loss drugs, I’m really wary of them and it is mainly because I have read so much about thier side effects and at the same time I know there are many people out there who keeps complaining that they have not been the same after having these pills…
I go in and out of eating right, exercising, and smoking cigarettes.
I have always tried to take on one at a time to quit/improve but recently I tried Eating healthy, a rigorous exercise routine, and quitting smoking all at once. So far it’s going a lot better then past attempts.
Ex. I crave a cigarette when I’m SUPER stuffed from pigging out… but if I eat right and less then go for a walk, roller balding after eating it helps curb the cigarette craving.
I think being fat does not really matter if you make sure you are healthy and doing good exercise. But at the same time the social stigma is huge and that is hard to surpass. Weight Loss should be a slow procss.
I think that in the end it all comes down to how you see yourself and how you define yourself.
There are so many issues that one can be bothered about and I think being fat is not that much big a concern.
I dated a girl who was close to 6-feet and went by the rule “the doctor says i have to stay at least 100 lbs”. It was frightening to watch the slimdown.
I fight weight issues by trying to keep my spirits. With spirts up, pressures don’t feel like deadweights.
not that that’s always easy
hey this is a great blog! i loved reading it.
thanks a lot!
Hey Meredith you are darn tooten that that is a funny name of a site to be a member of but hey whatever works for you! You should make a report of your BMI and let us track your progress! Keep up the good work! I’ve lost 20 lbs in the past 3 months. Woohoo!
I completely agree with your comment about it being all a willpower issue. I don’t really mind cooking healthy foods and I feel really great about eating a healthy meal. For me, it’s saying no to all the desserts, sodas, and treats.
you’re right about the willpower, I can eat all the correct meals. And yet, when I walk down the candy aisle. I’m done. For me. It’s my mind.
With a low calorie diet you may see initial dramatic weight loss but most of the weight lost will be water weight and muscle wastage rather than fat loss and when your metabolism slows down, you may well notice weight gain in the form of fat.
There is no need for teenagers to have a specific diet and all that sort of stuff. Because teenage is the time people tend to eat a lot and there should be no restriction. Teenagers need to eat a lot!
I’m understand for what you fell now. I ever had the same problem like you for the time being. When I was high school, I had overweight and got increase every year. And someday I realize that I must reduce my weight. With all my desire and patience, finally I get my ideal weight. So, don’t give up and be patient. Surely you will get you best weight.
My friend was 15st and now she’s only 9st so it is possible to lose the wieght. Hang in there!!!
Yes, teenagers need to eat a lot. But is that why we see entire familys having dinner at McDonalds, is that why they`re all fat? Nope.
Teenagers need to eat more healthy, if you ask me. Irresponsible parents should get some kind of punishment for ruining their kids health with crappy food.
No coke, fries and cheese burgers!
Sounds like you’ve had some hard times trying to lose weight, but I know you’ll do it. You’ll grow your will power and be able to find a plan that works for you! Good luck! You’ll be at 140 in no time!
Great site!
Hang in there, you can do it! Thanks for those sites btw, I didn’t know about them before. And yes, FatSecret.com is a funny name lol.
Rebecca
Hang in there, you can do it! Thanks
There are pros and cons to everything, and weight loss is no different. It’s certainly nor magical where you can immediately lose weight, and the diet plan that you follow for weight loss might not necessarily be equally beneficial for any other person.
Enjoying your food is a part of life, its the way you go about choosing the amounts and times at which you eat. Not to mention you can eat as much as you like, as long as you can do the exercise to burn off more calories than you consume. At this point it looks like simple mass.
Do not under estimate the use of building some lean muscle with low weight weight lifting to high reps – this lean muscle will consume more calories for energy for the same actions as fat tissue, hence will make it easier to burn off and lose weight.
A really short but good article which goes into the mode of losing weight. The proper intake of the right calories at the right time is crucial not only for losing weight but also for building muscles simultaneously. Beginners usually rush into it which even leads to 0 or adverse results.You can check out this other site on the kind of food intake & also on how to grow muscle fast which is a bit different but a good start for beginners:. Overall, a nice post !
Meredith! Love your blog. Totally feel you and I was once there. After I had my second girl I was way past my college weight (by 50 pounds). Clothing gets expensive. Have you tried any discount sites in the meantime? Something like is a money saver. Hope you are well.
Danielle
Hi Meredeth. Really appreciated your article on dieting and sharing all your personal struggles with it. Weight is an issue for so many people now, I think encouragement is huge. So I just wanted to say don’t give up! Keep believing that you’ll find the solution you’re looking for! Thanks for the great article.