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Slightly Bitter

Posted by on March 22, 2007

This post is not directed at anybody. If you think I’m talking to you, about you, or because of something you said – you’re wrong.

Sometimes I resent heterosexual people, and bisexual people in opposite-sex relationships. This pretty much only applies to Americans, by the way, since many sensible countries have already got gay marriage. But it’s true: I resent straight Americans. I have been with :A: for more than nine years, which is a lot longer than pretty much anybody else I know has been in their relationship. And a lot of them are married, engaged, or heading in that direction. Even the people I know who aren’t planning to get married, still could if they wanted to. But I can’t do it. I don’t have those rights.

Yes, in theory I could have a commitment ceremony, even call it a wedding…but it’s not the same. Yes, I already do refer to her as my wife and we wear matching rings…but it’s not the same. Technically, according to just about every major entity that cares, we are both single. It really galls me to tick off “Single” on forms. I put “Living with partner” or “Partnered” anytime that is available, but 80% of the time it’s not there.

Anytime I read about a wedding or an engagement, I get a flash of jealousy. Any time, and every time. It’s fleeting, and it’s irrational, because most of the time it’s friends who are getting married and I am also very happy for them. But…it’s still there. I still feel it. If :A: ever decides we can go to Canada and get married, that will help, but it’s not likely and it won’t completely solve the issue. And unless the U.S. government changes its mind, that jealousy is going to stay right where it is whenever anybody I know gets married or engaged.

Once again: this was not about or directed at anyone in particular.

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