This is a tough post to write, but I’m up to the challenge. I thought about locking it, or filtering it, or something, but I’m not going to. I am, however, going to hide part of it, because not everybody wants to read about my sex life.
As many people know, I have always been upfront about my identity online - what you see is what you get, pretty much. Many of you also probably know that I have never really had to “come out” or “discover” my lesbian identity - hey, I’m a dyke, there’s nothing more to say about it.

But recently I have done some coming out. The hardest part was coming out to myself - which is what it must be like for those who are uncertain about their homosexuality. In fact I’m still coming out to myself, as I wonder what to do with this new identity, this new self-label. I am a leathergirl.

It took some exploration to come to this realization. I looked at the American Leathergirl contest from outside, and I thought “well if I were going to identify myself with any of those groups, it would be the girls, but I don’t really fit in with them.” I thought leathergirls were great people, and I was impressed by the growing movement of leathergirls, but I didn’t think I was one of them. This continued for a while. A couple of weeks ago, at the most recent ABW, I found myself looking at a t-shirt in the vendor’s room that said “leathergirl” and I said to myself “Oh, that’s really cool, but I’m just a kinky person, I’m not really into leather, so it’s not for me.” And I knew I was kidding myself. I came to realize that being a leathergirl doesn’t mean you have to be into the fabric called leather. As metanaive puts it, a leathergirl is “any woman or man, slave, submissive or bottom, with a feminine heart.” Now, I don’t do a whole lot of actual stuff that would be classified as BDSM play. I’m definitely interested, but I don’t do it much, and that’s fine with me. I’m very happy with my sex life the way it is. Being a submissive isn’t something I have to do - it’s more about who I am, what my personality is like. It’s more in my head and my heart than my actions and interactions. And it’s that inner feeling of being a bottom that makes me feel I am a leathergirl, regardless of what I wear and how I play.

So I’m coming out as a leathergirl, but I’m still not sure what to do with it. It feels a bit odd starting to identify myself with the community I interpret for - usually interpreters are separate from their clients, but I’m becoming friends with many of them and others in the leather community. I’m a leathergirl…I just don’t know what to do with it…I am still learning, and I always will be. Much love for dawnmarie727, metanaive, and girldebra, among others, for welcoming me.

By the way, there are a few groups I don’t plan to come out to about this. I’m openly lesbian at work, and my parents certainly know, but I don’t really expect to discuss being a leathergirl with either group. (Yes, my parents can read this entry, but I’m not planning on discussing it with them. In fact I’d really prefer not to.) Leather is more about sexuality and sensuality than sexual orientation in general, so I don’t really feel it’s appropriate to discuss it with either work or family.